32, All Is grace

Why are you worthy my God?

Because Eben-Ezer (“Thus far the Lord has helped us.” 1 Samuel 7:12)  
Because Eben-Ezer has been true into my life too!  You have carried me on the hills and through the valleys, to free me from the Idol of myself and to be metamorphosed in something that glorifies You Alone! In everything,  you've showed me that every instant of time is grace, every good thing in me and every work of kindness is done by grace, yes, nothing in me, Everything in You. Thank You Lord for these opened eyes...opened by You;

Thank You for life, thank you for carrying me always, thank you for the work You have started in me, and that "You will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus."(Philippians 1:6)

Thank you for lifting me up every time I've felled down. Thank you for allowing me to fall, because through falling I've started to see further than myself. Falls are gifts, or they become gifts when we put them in Your hands. Falls bring humbleness, and humbleness enriches the soul with beauty, and then, the soul becomes a gift itself for the world around. But, yes, in the middle of the fall I need faith to see Your hand, this Hand in which even the soil of my soul can become fruitful.

"Christ demands me to believe in the light of His day, in the middle of the night." ( Samuel Rutherford)

And all I want is  to obey His calling, to live like that, to walk by faith even when I cannot see the light, knowing that if I step forward His light will meet me at  the end of the road. Thank You for teaching me to live by faith beyond feelings, through pure reason. Thank you for teaching me to see You  through the eyes of the soul, and to rejoice  in your gifts by faith.
Thank You Lord for the gift of life, for creating all things different!  Every life is unique, even mine, and we can not be compared with one another in Your eyes.  Your plan is only  blessing for each one of us. Oh, if only we would give ourselves to You entirely...
Help me oh Lord to search You always, to delight in You always, to keep my way straight on the road that leads to Eternity.  Help me to wait only for Your help  always and to remain awake until the end!
Thank You for teaching me to see Your beauty in the people around me, in nature, in everything that  You have created, thank you for such as the Jewish people, I've learned to count the gifts I receive daily from Your hands and I've learned to see the simplicity of life  and ordinary things as priceless gifts.
Now the sun  rises more splendid at my window and he caresses  the flowers from the pots, then embraces the wall  behind my bed , and then, oh yes, with its soft and warm light, it embraces me too.

Oh, Grace, It is grace to be able to see that all is Grace!

Thank you for the revelation of Your presence in my life too, Yes, You are " I am What I Am" and You hold all things through the power of Your hands.
Thank You because with each passing year, I am one step closer to the place where You are!

32,  totul e har!

De ce esti Tu vrednic de lauda Doamne?

Pentru ca  Eben-Ezer  ( "Până aici Domnul ne-a ajutat." 1 Samuel 7: 12) pentru ca Eben-Ezer s-a implinit si in viata mea din plin, Tu m-ai purtat pe culmi si prin vai,  spre metamorfozarea sinelui meu in ceva ce trebuia sa iti aduca slava doar Tie, si prin toate mi-ai aratat ca fiecare clipa e har,  fiecare lucru bun pe care il pot face bun e har.  TOTUL  e har si nimc in mine, dar totul in Tine.  Multumesc Doamne pentru acesti ochi deschisi de Tine,  pentru aceast suflet despietrit si pentru sfaramarea sinelui la care inca mai lucrezi si acum...
Multumesc pentru ca m-ai purtat, si pentru ca ma vei tot purta, multumesc pentru ca Tu Ai inceput o lucrare in mine si o vei duce la bun sfarsit.
Multumesc pentru ca nu ai ingaduit caderi din care sa nu fiu ridicata, multumesc pentru ca Ai ingaduit sa cad, iar in cadere am putut vedea ca mai exista si altceva dincolo de mine insami.  Caderile sunt daruri, sau devin daruri atunci cand sunt puse in mainile Tale. Caderile  aduc  smerenie, iar smerenia imbogateste sufletul,  si sufletul odata imbogatit se transforma el insusi intr-un dar pentru lumea aceasta. Dar da, in mijlocul caderii am nevoie de credinta  sa pot vedea Mana Ta,  Mana care poate transforma si pamantul sufletului meu intr-un pamant roditor.  
 "Hristos imi cere sa cred in lumina zilei Lui, la miezul noptii." ( Samuel Rutherford)

Iar eu vreau sa ii dau ascultare si sa traiesc astfel, sa pasesc prin credinta chiar in miez de noapte, stiind ca numai inaintand voi da de lumina Lui. Multumesc pentru ca ma Inveti sa traiesc prin credinta dincolo de simtire, prin pura ratiune.

Multumesc pentru ca ma inveti sa Te vad prin ochii sufletului, si sa ma pot bucura prin credinta de darurile tale.Tot intr-o cadere m-ai invatat ca viata este un dar, si ca viata mea este unica, si ca ea nu poate fi comparata cu a nici unui om.  Planul Tau este bogat, si frumos pentru fiecare suflet in parte. Oh daca toti ni te-am darui Tie... daca toti ne-am tine calea dreapta, acea cale din urma pasilor Tai...  Ajuta-mi Doamne, sa privesc mereu cu seninatate si credinta catre Tine, si sa pasesc pana in vesnicii pe urmele pasilor Tai, sa astept doar ajutorul Tau, si sa nu cad de oboseala in drumul spre Cer.
Multumesc pentru ca m-ai invatat sa vad frumusetea Ta in oameni, in natura, in tot ceea ce Ai creat frumos, multumesc pentru ca asemeni evreilor, m-ai invatat sa numar darurile pe care le primesc  zilnic din mana Ta si sa vad simplitatea vietii, si lucrurile obisnuite ca fiind daruri de mare pret.
Multumesc pentru ca acum, soarele rasare si mai frumos la fereastra mea si mangaie florile rasfirate din givece, apoi intra in camera unde dorm  si cuprinde peretele intreg cu lumina lui catifelata si calda, iar mai apoi ma cuprinde si pe mine toata.  

Oh, cat har, sa pot vedea ca totul e har!

Multumesc pentru ca Tu Te-ai aratat si sufletului meu,  da, Tu Esti Cel e Esti si Tu Tii toate lucrurile prin puterea manilor Tale.  
Multumesc pentru ca un an in plus inseamna inca un pas mai aproape de Cer!

Two are better than one

Love has form and meaning, only when it takes the form of the cross."
                                                                                                    Ann Voskamp

I've chose to illustrate Adam & Eve and a little corner of garden of Eden, because when I think of their love before the falling, I think of a perfect love in a perfect fellowship  with the Creator. This image that I have in mind  give  me so much joy when I think of it... So there it is, the illustration, and a few words about how I see true love.

Love means giving,  and we cannot give ourselves entirely until we understand the way Christ gave Himself for us. He give Himself so we can have an abundant life that will mirror in eternity.
Receiving His offering, we are being healed of all the shades of selfishness that hides inside of a soul who lacks God's love in it.. the unforgiveness, the discontentment, the self-centeredness and so on..  Only through the love of Christ overflowing in our hearts we can have a pure and profound love one for  another,  that type on love  that gives itself unconditionally, until the end!
Like faith, love  also is an act of willing that doesn't depend on emotions. The feelings arrived by emotions are limited, and I think the will is superior to them  because it  values a commitment more than a feeling.  Yes, I know, life becomes tricky sometimes, but  if we don't hold straight to the  promises we've made, feelings can make us do things we will later regret, and we risk to harm people... but people are to be loved not to be harmed.
Precious things never come easy, and there is a battle to be won, the battle with our own wickedness,  that searches to fulfill  only what's best for itself, and puts the "I" always first.  If the "I" would be crucified in the favor of others, this world would be a better place to live in, and separation in families or between friends would not exist. This is not an idealistic idea,  but one who speaks about the love of Christ  in the life of man and how this love renews a heart  and teaches it to love with a  love that leads into eternity.  Thankfully I've learned  much of this kind of love with my husband who is one of the most selfless person I know,  and for which I am forever grateful.  I've also learned a precious thing in all these years of  being a christian, that we become more beautiful when we give ourselves to others.

"For it is in giving that we receive"

                                                         Saint Francis of Assisi

Mai bine doi decat unul

"Dragostea are forma si sens, numai cand ia forma crucii."

                                                                      Ann Voskamp

Am ales sa ilustrez  pe Adam si Eva intr-un coltisor din gradina Eden,  pentru ca atunci cand ma gandesc la dragostea lor de inaintea caderii ma gandesc la o dragoste perfecta intr-un cadru feeric si intr-o partasie perfecta cu Creatorul. Asadar, iata si ilustratia impreuna cu cateva ganduri despre cum vad eu dragostea adevarata.

Dragostea inseamna daruire, iar noi nu ne putem darui in intregime decat daca intelegem cum s-a daruit Hristos cu totul noua, pentru ca noi sa putem avea o viata care sa se rasfranga in vesnicie si nu doar o viata finita aici pe pamant.
Primind daruirea Lui ne videcam de tot negrul sufletului..   ne vindecam de neiertare, de nemultumire, de prea multa iubire de sine si de toate nuantele egoismului  ce se ascund intr-un suflet lipsit de dragostea Lui. Caci numai prin dragostea Lui Hristos revarsata in inimile noastre putem iubi cu o iubire curata si plina de profunzime, o iubire care se daruieste pe sine intr-un mod neconditionat, pana la capat.  
Dragostea, ca si credinta, este  tot un act de vointa ce nu depinde in mod principal de simtire. Sentimentele venite in urma emotiilor sunt limitate, iar vointa este un act superior simtirii pentru ca ea pune mai presus de ceea ce simte, legamantul  facut. Viata de multe ori ia intorsaturi ciudate si cateodata devine dificil de inaintat pe cale, dar a merge condus de simturi e ca si cum te-ai lasa dus de valuri. Atunci cand nu ne tinem strans de promisiunile pe care le-am facut, si renuntam la lupta, emotiile ne pot insela si ne pot duce pe taramuri gresite, urmate de alegeri pe care le putem regreta si care pot rani oamenii... iar oamenii trebuie sa fie iubiti si nu raniti...
Orice lucru pretios nu poate fi obtinut usor, exista o lupta ce trebuie castigata,  o lupta cu propriul nostru "eu"  ce cauta doar sa se implineasca pe sine insusi. Dar daca am rastigni acest sine pentru cei din jur, pamantul acesta ar deveni un loc mai bun si separarile din familii sau despartirile  dintre  prieteni  nu ar mai exista.  Nu,  nu este un gand idealist, ci unul real, vazut in vietile multor oameni. Am vazut de multe ori cat de frumos devine caracterul unui om cand este inundat de dragostea Lui Dumnezeu.  Am vazut roadele acestui lucru, roadele rastignirii unui sine pentru cei din jur, si cum iubind  cu o dragoste intreaga ea duce in eternitate.  Ma smeresc inaintea faptului ca am fost si eu daruita unui om cu multa daruire de sine si astfel am putut gusta in ultimii cinci ani din aceasta dragoste despre care am scris. Ma gandesc ca a te lasa infrumusetat inseamna a te frange daruindu-te zilnic... si ca defapt asa Hristos ia chip in noi.

"Prin daruire primim."
                                      Sfântul Francisc de Assisi